A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It's shark week go big or go home
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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