Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
