No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
