Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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