I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
