Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
