Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
