She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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