It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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