I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Fuck appropriateness.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
