i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
