Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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