So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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