Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize