non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
