Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
