so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
