Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
