Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
