So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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