I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
