and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
50% drunk capacity currently
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
