Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
