I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
