but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
