I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
