And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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