Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize