My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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