I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
