i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
