make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
