why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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