this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
