Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
