I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
