I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
