I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just google imaged poop.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
