i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
