Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
