it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
