She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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