you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
