Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize