i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
