Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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