Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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