The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
