do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
