my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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