I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
wow bdsm is so cute
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
