just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize