Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry natalieskye hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(206): View more from Washington

I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.

(1-206): View more from Washington

Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega

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(913): View more from Kansas

He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.

Fav 36 1022 4544
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(201): View more from New Jersey

As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere

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(903): View more from Texas

Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Trying to grind with crutches was not a success

Fav 7 2017 1578
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(785): View more from Kansas

MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.

(207): View more from Maine

HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.

Fav 21 3567 2473
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(917): View more from New York City

She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.

Fav 3 1289 540
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(615): View more from Tennessee

He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.

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