I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
