She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
