Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
