dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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