You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
