have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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