half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Also, beer. Big fan.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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