Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
