So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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