Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
